the heartbreak

Dreamt of him all nyt.. Woke up in a sweat.. Trying to rebuild scattered reality.. But the dream remained fresh.. As if it were really happening... His absence even more painful in the morning.
Rolled around in bed trying to get out of thoughts and feelings that gushed through my body like angry river waters.
Now i want to feel the moment... Live in now. Why do i still feel connected when the bond is already severed from his end?
he has hung up the phone, and i still wait with the dead receiver in my hand
waiting for a voice
that no longer exists in my world
running into memories
groping dusty shelves in the closet
searching for a moment that has already left
a whisper of the past
a touch to tell me that i still exist
in hope and craving i betray time
but time moves forward
oblivious to my sorrow
oblivious to my loss

and i wonder what remains
if everything slowly disintegrates
if all flows away with the next tide
what is meaning anyway
but a passing moment

why does a traveller search for purpose
it is not a luxury she can afford
but in a closed compartment deep in the heart
a child indignantly questions the credos of life
sets forth uncaged
into a cold world