Dear losers,
This post is for all those who feel that they know me. Those confident fools, who feel that they've got me all figured out; spread open like a guinea pig on a dissection table.
Forgive me for bursting your bubble, but you dont know me.
For, if you knew me, you would not oppose everything that I do, and everything that I am, every single minute that you spend with me. I dont know whether its your hatred toward me or your jealousy that you address as love while communicating with me, and that you use as an excuse to criticise me and try to change me.
Another thing that you do is to tell me that I'm wrong. The way I do things, walk, talk, even what I breathe.
You people seem to have this strong conviction that there is something fatally wrong with me, and that you should be the one to correct it.
Sorry to mess with your self indulgent illusions, but I'm not a notebook full of errors and you are not the teacher sitting with the red pen.
Somehow, you seem to forget, that you've never even shared a moment with me. Preassureless. Nor had one heart to heart conversation with me. You dont know what I like, what I dislike. You dont know what I live for, and what drives me, and you have no idea what I'd die for. Then, how, may I ask, did you reach the conclusion that you are the one to change my life. Who gave you the right to even pass judgement?
I know this. I've experienced this. If you see me crying, your first instinctive reaction will be to sit me down, painstakingly analyse the situation.. pros and cons... dive into history, ethics, morals... You would then, very gravely tell me whats wrong with me. Again! You would explain that I can still make amends if I change myself, my lifestyle, my friends, and everything else that means anything to me. Then you would walk away smugly feeling very happy with yourself.
But you would not hug me. When I cry you wouldn't hug me.
You wont keep your hand on my head and tell me its okay and that I should do what I must and that you'll be there for me. Instead, you'll tell me that if I dont do as you say then you'll leave me, punish me, and that I'll lose everything in life.
And when I go, you'll run behind me. You'll hunt me down. You'll demotivate me, threaten me, warn me, bind me..
And this for you, is love.
You will not let me be. You wont even let me have my sorrow.
Well, I've had it with you. All of you wellwishers. You dont wanna know how I feel, but I'll say it anyway. I think you're incapable of being happy or free. Which is why you have to spend your life trying to stub out even the slightest inkling to reality that you encounter.
As for me, I've seen enough toknow whats real . I've been chistelled and sculpted. With harsh tools, sometimes. I've been hated and feared, and sometimes admired.
So, you can hurt me, break me. Every wound will only make me stronger.
You can clip my wings, you can burn me. But, I will rise again. And I will fly.
Whatever wife lectures the violent baffle.
Whatever wife lectures the violent baffle.
This is terrible. When I actually imagined what you have written, to have happened to me, I really felt terrible. If I could have superhuman category powers I'd love to ease the pain. But alas, we are the bricks of the wall of the system itself! We are bound, by social and political chains, from the knowledge of truth, or even the shadow of it. The illusion is displayed on a brick wall. Removing the illusion will not necessarily remove the wall. It can only be removed by strong will to break it, and then the necessary tools thereafter. This concept is to be understood. Once understood, it needs questioning and interrogation. Once this logical process is started, there is no experience of pain, hate, dismay or even guilt. There is only euphoria and enthusiasm of knowing the end-result. This end-result is kind of known to us, but it gives pleasure in confirming it, doesn't it? ;)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the truth can be unfolded only by the tools of patience and faith. Make them your own, and you will be expressionless. You will be at peace, and acceptance with one, and all.
Kindly regard yourself as a part of us all, and all as a part of your existence. Because that is the truth, second to the proved truth of death. Otherwise what is all but a thought, and what is a thought, but a disturbance in peace. No thought, no disturbance, only peace.
On the other hand, I admire the flow of the thought process so plainly and bluntly, but beautifully put into words. Good job beta, 5 marks with a green pen :-)